It's been 7 days since my last post. Sorry for leaving this blog idled for that long. It is not that I care less about this blog. No. This blog has been one of the most important thing in my life now. It has all my memories inside. It contains all the sweetest thing in my life. It has been a part of my life now. Even though I don't have such a fancy life that I can write about or thousands of followers like other bloggers have, still, this blog of mine means a lot to me. For the past few days, I've been living in denial. Numb. I don't want to sound rude or ungrateful, but the turndowns that I've been living with somehow affects my emotional behavior. I aware that the more you get being tested, the stronger you will grow. I guess I have grew stronger than before. I've learned to thrash away all the negativities, I've learned to put aside the sorrows and live with enchantments. And I've learned to smile even all the mess still stuck in my head. 2010 had taught me how to be such a defensive person, he trained me enough to be tougher than before. Hence I've been praying for a better tomorrow for 2011, a cooler air for me to breathe and a greater deal for me to live.
I have this current issue that I would like to share with. You've been living on negativities for such a time, yet you've grew stronger, you even got to build your own shield to protect you against the bads. But sometimes, surroundings are so envy of you being so powerful than before. Surroundings are being such an opposition to push you down. Surroundings that I been living now is a green-eyed monster that stands before me, waiting for me to fall off once again. I hate him for being such a nuisance in my life now. I hate him who loves playing tricks on me. I know I shall not be defeated by him. No. Not even once. Therefore I am writing these below to clear my mind that this evil monster that I am looking at will never ever win this battle :D
1. I know it was you who appears as 'silence' that I've been living with. I hate you for making my jazzy & chattering sense went away. But, that's okay. I will not be defeated by you.
2. I know it was you who keep on whispering 'lonely' to my ears. Yes, I do have a lonely life at the moment. And yes, I eat small humble meal for my dinner alone and I talk to my cats as if they are talking to me but that doesn't mean I am not okay with it. In fact, not all the time that I have to be living lonesome, so can you please stop telling me all those craps?
3. I know it was you who is telling me that I have a 'boring' life, been repeating same effing routine every single day. Hey, everybody has it. Everybody repeats one hell of boring routine everyday. We sleep, wake up, go to work, go home & sleep again. That's life. So can't you see it now that I am not the only soul in this world who's living with the same effing routine? Everyone has it. EVERYONE.
4. I know it was you who's always making me feel 'numb' & restless. You don't have to do this. Don't you know that I've grew stronger than before? Don't you know that I've been living half alive before, yet still succeed in getting back my entire soul? Try harder, Monster.